Attachment, Identity, Adoption: 10 Related Quotes by Dr. Gabor Maté
Dr. Gabor Maté is a well-known figure in the fields of addiction, stress, and child development. His work on these topics has given birth to many insightful quotes, many of which, due to our own separation trauma, and/or traumatic childhoods that followed, resonate with adoptees.
Here are 10 quotes by Dr. Gabor Maté that have touched my adopted life:
1.
"The essence of trauma, at its purest level, is disconnect from the self."
2.
"What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted survival strategies, of authentic attributes and ingrained, reactive patterns of behavior."
3.
"The template of how we relate to ourselves and the world is, to a large extent, established before birth and in early childhood, on the emotional and physical levels."
4.
"What we ourselves have not been given, we cannot pass on to our children, who come to us for guidance."
5.
"The greater the child's terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self."
6.
"Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior."
7.
"For each of us, coming into being had meant being found by someone who echoed our emotions, who mirrored us and thus confirmed our existence and vitality."
8.
"Attachment is the drive to pursue and preserve closeness and contact with others. The loss of attachment figures, or their physical or emotional unavailability, threatens the child's sense of security and selfhood."
9.
10.
9.
"As the child interacts with a safe and nurturing environment, the brain develops optimally, and this leads to a healthy sense of self and secure attachment."
10.
"In the real world of the child, whether that world is a violent inner city housing project or a manicured suburb, the loss or absence of parents, or the presence of parents under emotional, financial or other forms of stress, means stressed attachments."
