ADOPTEE SEARCH &
REUNION - A HEALING JOURNEY

Patricia Knight Meyer Headshot - Adoptee Search and Reunion

Hello and Welcome

Welcome to My Adopted Life. Here you will find resources on adoptee search and reunion and navigating adoption reunion and healing from identity-shattering events, like learning you are adopted, dealing with the shock of a DNA surprise, or discovering you are donor-conceived. I have been in reunion with both my birth mother and my late birth father since 2010. I blog about my life as a black market baby and managing reunions with adoptive family and biological relatives. I urge you to check out the resources section for links to books, talks, adoption support groups, and writing classes. 

I hope you enjoy what you find here and consider subscribing.
 
All the best,
Patricia Knight Meyer
Adoptee, Author, and Advocate for Adoption Reform

My Story

What one would call a Black Market Baby, my outside-the-system “adoption,” meant my “adoptive” parents never received my birth certificate, an adoption never took place, and the name I used never existed on any legal paperwork.

I was handed over along a Texas hospital curb in 1970 – no judge, agency, or paperwork required.  Through my own journey of uncovering the truth about my Black Market adoption, I discovered that a shady attorney sold me to my would-be parents and later extorted them out of thousands of dollars with the threat of taking back the baby. I wouldn’t obtain my first legal birth certificate until I was 47 years old.

Now, I’m watching history repeat itself, as vulnerable mothers face an expanding for-profit adoption industry valued at $30 billion dollars. With abortion rights restricted, more desperate women will stand at the mercy of a system designed to coerce and exploit them.

As an adoption reform advocate, and a relinquishee who has lived with the consequences of an illegal adoption, I speak and keynote at adoption conferences, appear on podcasts, and have written a memoir about my experience. I have a journalism degree from the University of Texas, a decade of experience as a book publicist, and my reunion video has 280,000 YouTube views. Thank you for stopping by. 

FORTHCOMING MEMOIR

black-market adoption wonderland the memoir
literary AwaRDS
AWARDS:
 
INDIEREADER REVIEW:
“WONDERLAND proves to be a once in a lifetime kind of work, staying with readers long after the last page is turned.”
Read the full review here.
—  Indie Reader
“Wonderland is an important contribution to everyone in the adoption world. [. . .] It vividly shows the very real consequences when bad actors exploit systemic vulnerabilities in the adoption system and—most pointedly—it provides a much-needed reminder of why transparency, equity, honesty, and adoptee-centered practices are vital. Oh, did I mention that it’s a compelling read for almost anyone?”
—Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation, Pulitzer Prize-nominated veteran journalist of The Boston Globe, and President of the National Center on Adoption and Permanency
Click Here
"Meyer excavates her own identity through deep layers of trauma and trafficking, loss and longing... a coming-of-age story, a personal mystery, and a heartfelt reckoning all in one."
—Gretchen Sisson, Sociologist and author of Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
"Meyer’s memoir, Wonderland, is its own rabbit hole. Her engaging, heart-wrenching narrative takes the reader down the windy, confusing, exhilarating tunnel that is adoption and adoption reunion. She pulls no punches as she shares with courageous honesty her story as an adoptee, raised in a beautiful and brutal home, who then searches for her birth community... Through her exquisite storytelling, Meyer can take us on this profound journey holding simultaneously the beauty and pain of her life as an adoptee."
—Rebecca C. Wellington, PhD, historian and adoptee, author of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption
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"In an absorbing and fast-moving narrative, Meyer conveys the complexity of the adoptee's inner life, shaped by uncertainty, hypervigilance, and deep, hearty—sometimes incongruous—love... Survival within her adoptive home is a constant focus, and adoption is ever-present, a force that expands and contracts her world, an alternately frightening and exhilarating wonderland."
—Amy Seek, author of God and Jetfire
"This memoir unfolds with the momentum of a television series—propulsive and immersive—yet grounded in precise dialogue and careful attention to scene and setting. The writing creates a visceral sense of presence, placing the reader inside each moment as it unfolds. Balancing narrative drive with clear psychological insight, the book illuminates the complex realities of adoption, including the lasting impact of falsified records, illegal practices, and unregulated systems."
—Dr. Liz DeBetta, founder of Migrating Toward Wholeness™, author of Adult Adoptees and Writing to Heal
"In WONDERLAND: Memoir of a Black Market Adoption, Patricia Knight Meyer, who grew up a relinquished child in the Baby Scoop Era, tenaciously interrogates the history she’s been told in a search for answers about the brutal separation from her first mother and her complex relationship with the troubled parents who raised her. With unswerving courage, compassion, and a commitment to discovering the truth, Knight weaves together and evokes the lived experience of adoptees, first parents, and adoptive parents. In scrutinizing the forces that shaped her life she gives voice to both the enduring wounds of adoption, the choices we make, and the transformative power of reclaiming our stories."
—Ronit Plank, author of When She Comes Back and host, Let’s Talk Memoir podcast
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“WONDERLAND forces readers to confront a reality that adoption narratives often avoid: that systems built on secrecy make ordinary people complicit in harm—and leave children to carry the consequences. Clear-eyed and rigorously honest, this memoir belongs in any serious conversation about the legacy of the Baby Scoop Era."
—Julie Ryan McGue, author of Twice a Daughter, Twice the Family, and Belonging Matters”
"Patricia Meyer’s story is a powerful testament to what happens when identity is built on secrecy, and what becomes possible when truth is finally uncovered. Her journey from being sold as a newborn to reclaiming her legal and personal identity decades later reveals the profound impact of trauma, fear, and the lifelong search for belonging. This courageous memoir offers hope to adoptees, parents, and anyone who believes that healing begins when we dare to face the truth."
—Bryan Post, an internationally recognized clinician and speaker, renowned adoption expert, best-selling author of From Fear to Love, and founder of Bondify.ai
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WONDERLAND: Memoir of a Black-Market Adoption by Patricia Knight Meyer

UPCOMING EVENTS

I'm Speaking at Domestic Adoption Camp 2026
July 16–19 • YMCA of the Rockies • Estes Park, Colorado
This July, I’m headed to the mountains for Heritage Camp’s Domestic Adoption Camp 2026, held at the stunning YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado.
DAC brings together adoptees from toddlers to adults, their families, and the broader adoption community for a few days of connection, honest conversation, and the particular kind of belonging that only happens when adoptees come together.
I’ll be there as a speaker, panelist, and facilitator across several sessions:
Friday, July 18 I’ll open the day with a keynote for parents — “Invisible Threads: What Your Adopted Child Needs You to Know” — an honest look at the interior world of adoptees that parents often can’t see, and what makes the difference. Later that afternoon, I’ll take part in a deep-dive interview and Q&A, and I’ll have an author table at the Self-Care Fair where you can find me, say hello, and learn more about my forthcoming memoir.
Saturday, July 19 I’ll facilitate the Young Adult Adoptee Panel — where young adult adoptees speak directly to teens about identity, search, belonging, and the feelings that don’t always have names yet.
We’ll close with a writing and journaling exercise to help teens bring it all inward. Later in the morning, I’ll join the Adult Adoptee Panel for Parents, sharing my own story and 15 years of reunion experience as one voice among several.
If you’re attending DAC this year, I would love to connect. Come find me at the Self-Care Fair, stay for the conversation after a session, or just say hello — adoptee community is why I do this work.
Camp Details 📅 July 16–19, 2026 📍 YMCA of the Rockies, Estes Park, Colorado 🔗 Learn more and register at heritagecamps.org

RECENT MEDIA

WRITING RESILIENCE PODCAST​

TALKING BABY BOXES WITH AL JAZEERA's THE STREAM ​

The above segment is pulled from the larger segment which you can watch here

CONTACT ME

You can also reach me directly at [email protected]

Name

 YAY DNA Genetic Greeting Cards

Designed to Disrupt the Greeting Card Aisle

Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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