Three Don't Miss Adoption Books
Heading to the Concerned United Birth Parents Retreat last weekend, I coudn’t wait for the “CUB Telling Our Stories Panel of Authors.”
Having read Rebecca Wellington’s “Who Is A Worthy Mother: An Intimate History of Adoption, and Monica Hall’s “Practically Still A Virgin,” I coudn’t wait to hear them share their stories in their own voices. Julia MacDonnell was also slated to read from her book “Hidden Girls: A Birth Mother’s Story of Reunion & Reckoning,” which unfortunately I had not yet read. However, it is next on my list.
It was wonderful to attend CUB for the first time. Just as I expected, it was a fantastic experience. You can read about the 2024 retreat in more detail here. In this post, I am diving into these wonderful books, which have touched my heart and kept me awake on a few long trips between New Orleans and Texas lately, and I am including an overview of Julia’s book, which is next on my list to read.
Monica Hall’s memoir “Practically Still a Virgin” is a moving and insightful exploration of adoption, trauma, and resilience. Set against the gritty backdrop of 1970s Alaska during the oil boom, Monica’s narrative gripped me with its raw honesty and emotional depth. Offering a unique dual perspective as both an adoptee and a birth mother, Monica offers readers precious insights into the complexities of adoption, illuminating both sides of the trauma inherent in adoption loss.
With an unflinching portrayal of her journey – from a rebellious teenager grappling with her adoptee identity to a young mother faced with impossible choices following a traumatic rape – Monica’s story is both harrowing and deeply compelling.
She presents her struggles with substance abuse, family dysfunction, and the enduring impact of childhood with a brave vulnerability that choked me up and hurt my heart for her. Her willingness to confront difficult truths, including a shocking revelation about her baby’s father, elevates an already compelling narrative.
While her story is undeniably heavy, Monica’s resilience and eventual path towards healing counterbalances the darker aspects of her narrative. Her journey of self-discovery and redemption will resonate with those who have experienced loss, family secrets, or the trauma of adoption. “Practically Still a Virgin” is a testament to the lived experience of first mothers and adoptees, as well as the transformative power of confronting one’s past. Monica’s candor and authenticity drew me in and kept me engaged throughout. She has crafted a valuable addition to existing adoption literature, and she tackles adoption loss with grace and insight.
If you loved “American Baby” by Gabrielle Glasser, you are sure to enjoy Rebecca Wellington’s “Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption.” Like Gabrielle, Rebecca offers a deep dive into the history of adoption in America, and includes historical research examining the social and racial biases inherent in the U.S. adoption system.
Rebecca sheds light on troubling historical practices, such as forced assimilation of babies of color and Indigenous children into white families. In the wake of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, this book provides crucial historical context for current debates on reproductive rights and adoption as well.
Yet Rebecca sets her story apart from other scholarly examinations of adoption by interweaving her own personal and heart wrenching narrative, which includes the loss of her own adopted sister to suicide. Rebecca’s blend of her own personal adoption story and historical analysis brings hidden histories to light, and gives voice to those long marginalized in discussions about adoption. This book is essential reading for anyone interested in adoption, women’s rights, or social history, challenging readers to reconsider their assumptions about adoption and its place in society. In short, “Who Is a Worthy Mother?” is a stellar contribution to the discussion of adoption in America.
Though I have not read this book yet, a quick peek at it tells me that MacDonnell’s “Hidden Girls: A Birth Mother’s Story of Reunion & Reckoning,” offers a timely exploration of the long-lasting impacts of closed adoption practices. Through her personal narrative of reuniting with her relinquished son after nearly 50 years, Julia examines the complex emotions and societal pressures surrounding unwed mothers during the “Baby Scoop Era.”
The book chronicles her individual journey, but also examines reproductive rights, feminism, and the lasting effects of shame and secrecy.
As described on Amazon: “Writing about her experience, MacDonnell soon realized that the secret about her bastard son contained a host of other secrets, evasions, and equivocations in her family and the culture at large. Hence, her story was not only hers. Rather, it reflected the stories of countless other girls and women who’d lost their babies to secret adoption in the decades after World War II.”
I hope you enjoy these books, and urge you to check them all out. Also don’t forget to leave your Amazon and Good Read reviews, the absolute best way to say thank you to the authors you enjoy reading.
Happy reading.
